Have you ever seen a creepy monster bug? Not sure what the specifications are for creepy monster bugs? Well let me tell you. A creepy monster bug is any large (the good ones are usually at least an inch and a half long) bug that isn't particularly pretty and often times may be thought of as ugly. If it can hiss and wheeze it's almost a sure sign that its a creepy monster bug. And if can draw blood, well....
That actually happened to me once. I got bit by the horrible jaws of a creepy monster bug (in that case it was a California Prionus beetle) and it did indeed draw blood.
Out here in my neck of the woods, the majority of large creepy monster bugs are beetles. I seem to find them when I'm not looking for them and I usually don't find them when I am looking for them. To be sure, they're not that common of an occurrence at my house. So imagine my surprise when I saw with my very own eyes, not one, but two, of the biggest, creepiest, monster bugs I have ever seen outside of a zoo. The following is an eyewitness account of the encounter:
"Dad and I were outside trying to build a shelter for our firewood. As we were about to move a large piece of plywood Dad asked,
'Bret, is that a leaf or a bug?'
Well, I walked closer to what he was talking about and soon it became apparent that it was not a leaf. It was one of those creepy monster bugs!
'Holy cow," I exclaimed, 'it's a bug!"
Let me tell you, it was big. Like, somewhere between two and three inches long type-of-big.
I went to the house, grabbed a bug viewing jar and went back out. Now, here's where things get a little blurred and I'm not sure about the exact order of the following events. I became aware of the fact there was a second creepy monster bug ( both were beetles) on the ground. With Dad helping to hold the board off the ground, I was able to get the first one into the jar. I secured the lid, sat the jar down, and reached down with my gloved hand to pick up the second creepy monster bug. This fellow was not in a good mood and I'm glad I had gloves on because he attacked my hand. He started biting just about anything that he could reach (each "anything" being another part of my glove). To be honest, I started wondering if he'd dig through the knitting of my gloves and still make contact with my hand. On top of that, he was hissing and wheezing. This one was definitely a creepy monster bug!
It's not everyday you run into one of these fellas(much less two) so I was excited and wanted to show everyone ('everyone' meaning Mom, Hannah, and Grandma) what I had in my hand. We put it into a separate jar and brought both of the creepy monster bugs into the house for observation. Hannah was given the task of identifying them.
Dad and I went back out to finish our work for the night and while we were loading wood into the back of his car I saw it: a 'yellow jacket' beetle! Now, I don't know what their real names are. I believe they're some sort of wood borer. I call them 'yellow jacket beetles' because that's what they kind of remind me of. They're somewhat narrow shaped and are yellow and black striped.
I asked Hannah to get the bug jar (we had transferred the creepy monster bug into a larger container). Once she got back we had a little trouble getting the bug into the jar but we finally succeeded.
Hannah had identified the creepy monster bugs. The first one was a Pine Sawyer. It's a large, brown beetle. Like I said earlier, this one was between two and three inches long. The other one was the stockier, California Prionus (it was probably close to two inches long). This beetle was the same type as the one that drew blood when it bit my finger. It's also the same type of beetle that decided to fly into my pastor at a church kid's camp four years ago. Some of you reading this may remember that evening. There's also a chance that those of you who do, played a part in the events that ensued after I caught it. Good times.
Anyways, back to the story. Looking at the California Prionus beetle, it appeared to be dying. I found this disappointing but I thought of the very cool specimen I could have afterwards. More time passed, and by now, it seemed pretty much all but dead.
I decided to let them all go. Not that the one creepy monster bug would make it or anything. I mean, I could hope that he'd make it but he was pretty much on his way out as far as I could tell.
I put the Pine Sawyer under a tarp that covered our wood pile and I put the 'yellow jacket' beetle amongst a few hale bales we had. I put the California Prionus under the same tarp as the Pine Sawyer but I left him in the container which I had on its side, just in case he wanted out.
On a day following the night of the creepy monster bugs, I went back out to the wood pile. I lifted the tarp to search for the California Prionus beetle. He was nowhere in my sight. The beetle that had appeared so near death had vanished. The creepy thing is, to this very day, I have never seen him again. Dad and I even moved the wood away from where I had left the insect. And that can only mean one thing. Somewhere in the trees nearby, in the freezing, moonlit night, there lurks one of two creepy monster bugs. As I go to sleep tonight I will finally realize the true meaning of 'don't let the bed bugs bite'...Good night!"
Scroll down for pictures:
Here's the Pine Sawyer. Notice the size of him :

The same bug:


Here's the 'yellow jacket' beetle:

I didn't take a picture of the California Prionus so I found one on the internet: